What We Don't Look For.

Perception of time is quite a strange thing. I've been in Santiago for almost two weeks now, yet it feels like I have been here for an eternity flown by in an iota of a second. I've explored pretty much every nook of this city of millions and I have reached the stage where some local people have started greeting me in recognition upon my passing by.

<-- The cafe where I study and read when I have the need to be on my own

I absolutely love it here and while it's hard to discern whether that's due to the location or the people I happen upon, it's perhaps not necessary to break the experience down any further than simply what it is. The series of fortunate coincidences that strings together the last 2 weeks, is really rather humbling. Each of us compiles "to do" lists in their heads, whether we're conciously aware of doing so or not. Things we effectively would like to do, aspects of ourselves that we would like to reconsider or possibilities and concepts we are eager to explore. On a larger scale, the events of the last 2 weeks have led to a chaotic series of "strike-offs". I seem to be inadvertently making my way down my own lists and in doing so... everything is gradually illuminated.

I feel different. In exploring the life that's within reach, I can feel myself breaking down and redefining my own boundaries. I am re-writing my self-definition. And it's not until this week that I realised that the perception we have of ourselves, does not necessarily correspond with everything that we are capable of being. Quite to the contrary. How we define and perceive ourselves probably curtails our true nature, more often than not. I suspect I may have found at least part of the cause of the restlessness within me that so many of you are undoubtedly familiar with. That feeling of being mal-aligned with myself is gradually but steadily fading.

- CC & Sam, Mercado Central -

I feel very strongely now that what we do and what we send out into the world, defines what comes our way. Our mindset inevitably guides where we end up, for it defines the things we open ourselves up to. After the initial low upon my arrival, I very conciously decided to throw myself fully onto everything that came my way. I accepted invites even when I was tired or did not much feel like company. I engaged in conversations with people I would normally not necessarily show an interest in. And I found out that all those "lesser" initial contacts, led me onto things that were very much where I wanted to be. Perhaps we conduct our searches for the "right stuff", the wrong way. We have eyes only for the things that immediately resemble that which we want and instantly discard that which doesn't. I think few of us ever consider the possibility that perhaps the thing we don't look for, might actually be the necessary step-stone that leads us to that which we DO look for.

The more I let go, the more things go my way. I suspect it is important to define in your head what you want. But once you know what that is, you need to let go. Instead of desperately trying to create our circumstances, we should probably just go along with the ride that presents itself. You will recognize the thing you wanted and be ready to seize it, when it passes by.

I realize that few of this will make sense to you, without me providing the details of the events gone by. But for now, those events are mine to ponder.

- Sampling Pisco Sours in Mercado Central -

"I have climbed the highest mountain, sailed across the sea. I have wrestled with my demons and woke up with only me." - M.Etheridge