The Blues

The mind is a bizarre thing.

Just yesterday, during our hike near Ochill Fells, we passed the "Burn of Sorrow". It's simply a waterfall near Campbell Castle, but as we passed it, Fi joked: "If you wanna drown your sorrows, this is where to do it". And in that one instant, I couldn't think of ANY sorrows to drown. I remember thinking to myself: "Wow! I feel PERFECTLY happy at this very moment." I as good as skipped all the way back to the car, and had a very sound sleep that night, with Fi curled up against me.

It was very much Dr.Jekyll/Mr.Hyde when I woke up the morning after. I'm completely aghast by how quickly my mindset can change from one moment to the next. It was sheer desperation, loneliness and anxiety by the time the day reached the afternoons. Despite the fact that my circumstances were pretty much the same as the day before. Something in me just temporarily breakes at times like these, and it takes a while before it mends itself.


"Godess of Sadness" by nBT

Although this is not new to me, it's a quite recent thing for me to recognize that it is happening WHEN it happens. And that it only happens because of something in me, rather than because of some reality that surrounds me. It's hard to detach the two sometimes. But when I went to bed yesterday with my head in turmoil, I resigned to the fact that I would simply have to let it pass.

I woke up this morning with the sun on my face.