Question your motives

Businesspundit recently commented on the delights of trading the RSS feeder for real books again. I share his sentiment.

These last few months, I've placed several large orders on Amazon and it's been refreshing to immerse myself into specific topics a few days at a time for once, as opposed to the snapshot reporting style of the RSS feed. I swear the whole www thing just adds unnecessary ADHD tendencies to my already scattered mind.

Ever since the last Harry Potter though, I've had difficulty hunting down entertaining novels. In fact, ever since puberty, I've struggled with the adult fiction section of bookshops. As a child and teen, I simply devoured any book I got my hands on, but the transition to the grown-up section was a tad harder. A lot of adult fiction topics simply don't interest me. I had a few moments of saving grace with Douglas Adams, Douglas Coupland, Connie Palmen, Philip Pullman and JK Rowling, but I generally stick to non-fiction.

These last few months, I've been gradually working down my list of "want-to-knows" and it's been nice to look into things in more depth for a change. I have to admit there's an underlying motive. Call it... "a research project". But it's a refreshing and welcome change nonetheless.

One of the last books I read was Affluenza, by Oliver James. Before you add it to your wish list though, beware that the book is badly written. I watched Oliver James's documentaries, and his writing style is no different from his documentary-making skills: flat, repetitive and barely skimming the surface. At 529 pages, you'd be justified demanding a little more spark and depth.


However... Oliver James has dug up an interesting subject. The often unfulfilled feeling that results from an unsustainable addiction to "more". An epidemic of stress, overwork, waste and indebtedness.

He briefly brings up the concept of pick-n-mix personalities. Stating that more and more people now use material goods to help define who they are. The easiest example perhaps being Apple (iBook, iPhone, iPod,...). Although the first Apple users admittedly were the mavericks and creative rebels of the geekworld, these days Apple is merely another consumer-oriented brand, relying heavily on that old image, and tapping into our darkest desire to be "cool".

It irritates me beyond belief when people assume that ownership of an iMac suddenly implies them to be creative, early-adapting and what have you not. Or that buying ecological/organic clothes would suddenly suffice to label yourself an ecowarrier? The blog-o-sphere too seems increasingly inundated with this behaviour.

But I have to admit that I too am guilty of pick-n-mix tendencies. I too am brandwashed, despite secretly hoping I am not. Oliver suggests questionning your true motives upon your next purchase and to try find the link with moments in which you feel a certain hint of malaise. On a personal level, it's been quite revealing.

I increasingly feel part of the "rat race" and resent it hugely. But since reading the book, I have sat down, and compiled an overview chart (and map) of personal goals and desires. Listed things I want to experience, material goods I hope to one day own, destinations I hope to one day arrive at. And I did so whilst thoroughly scrutinizing my every answer. What was the motive for wanting each list-item? Do I want to build my own eco-house because I really want to, or because it would be "cool". Why would I want to own an Audi? Am I really interested in Thailand? Do I really need to save up for a big family? I struck off every item of which I concluded I didn't really want it for the right reasons. And what was left was a huge list of experiences and travels, rather devoid of material goods, of which there were only 4 left.

And suddenly life seemed more achievable. The malaise has eased up somewhat. I roughly know how much time and money I require to work my way down that list. So if I manage both carefully, life oughtn't be a rat race. And if Jo agrees to stick with me for another 60-odd years, then I think I'm also set in terms of the person I want to share it all with. Though that may be a bit of a struggle once she sees the level of geekiness that went into color-coding and push-pinning the chart...