Weddings

I'm not too keen on weddings. They inevitably spell a "dressing up" disaster. As a lesbian, the problem is two-fold. Most of us are genetically predisposed to an aversion for anything remotely leg-less. Outfits of the dress/skirt variety tend to terrify us out of our wits. However, the suit/pants&shirt alternative is quite possibly even worse, for it's the stereotypical epithome of all that's butch & dyke.

So a wedding invite generally causes me personally, to convulse. I once returned an invite to a friend's wedding with an accompanying note saying: "please don't make the lesbian dress up". THAT's how big an issue it can become.

However, 5 months of therapy have enabled me to "ignore" my own genetic fashion predispositions to some extent, and when the invite to my cousin's wedding dropped through the letterbox, the convulsive symptoms were reduced to a mere nervous twitch around the mouth. I put the invite aside, and consequently conciously forgot about it.

But Saturday evening, the said date had arrived and I was forced to take stock of my wardrobe. I managed to put together a cheap mean consisting of a simple black/grey/brownish long skirt, girlie shoes and a very comforting black sweater. Had it not been for the subzero temperatures, I would have blended in VERY nicely :-)


Luckily, our family weddings tend to be fairly alcohol fueled, so by midnight everyone was shaking a leg on the dancefloor till the wee hours and I no longer felt the cold. Despite the vast sea of acquaintances, all us cousins flocked together and got collectively drunk from the word go. This process was nicely speeded up by the fact that there was no proper sit down dinner and that the table we'd chosen to gather round had a centrepiece built in, which consisted of icecubes lit from underneath, and stacked with 20-odd bottles of white wine, free for us to grab at will. Which, needless to say, we did.

I was off my face. Not surprising, seeing as I rarely drink and necked two bottles of wine on my tod that night. But I remember dancing. With just about everyone there. So when I finally reached my bed at 5.30 I fell asleep with a very twitchy leg and a rather content smile on my face. 10 more months till the next debaucherie. Can hardly wait ;)