Superstition of Impending Doom
Ever since I was little it was hard, if not impossible, to imagine a life for myself beyond the age of 25. I've always assumed that that was merely due to a child-ly incapability. But as I reached the semi-intellectual levels of puberty, that image of a post-25 Sarah, remained unexistent. It wasn't until fairly recent that I managed to picture a life beyond the age of 25. However, with the impending doom of my 26th birthday, the question now stands: "Can I envisage that life beyond 25 merely because it's easy to imagine something a mere few months ahead, or because that life actually exists?" Due to the nature of the topic, any reasoning on it is bound to be as 'non sequitur' as the question is ridiculous, so I therefore now find myself in a heightened state of superstition.
I have taken to avoid walking under ladders, started driving like my nan and disinfect my new tattoo and piercings to such an extent that I am now permanently followed by a wiff of hospital-scent.
The superstition of impending doom has increased since making the decision to take 6 months off upon completion of my PhD in January, to finally travel Earth's more exotic venues. Life seems to have a streak for painful irony, and it would just be my luck that the minute I decide to go and "live a little", I check out :-).
Having said that, I am also the person that owns a pair of "travel-socks", which I insist on wearing for good luck any time I fly. I used to sleep with a liter of water and a towel next to my bed as a child, not in case of thirst or spillage, but in case of a much needed escape from a house on fire. I will probably also have been one of the ONLY people on this planet STUPID enough to store all their study-books in easy-carry bags every night in the week leading up to an exam, in case there was a distaster and I had to make a quick escape.
Hmmm....
...upon reflection, it may be wise to go and seek help for ... well... clearly... neurosis ;-)
Labels: PhD Faff
posted by Dr.Pew @ 11:05 am
2 comments
2 Comments:
Me too!
I really did use to keep all my books, papers etc in a rucksack ready to go at a moment's notice.
To be honest, I still do. I'd never leave work on a desk where it would take precious seconds to stuff into a bag.
My Dad always used to make sure we had "a plan" for escaping a fire at home. For this reason I kept a ball of string in my room. Somehow this comforted me. I don't know what the hell I was going to do with it? Make a thin rope ladder perhaps?
I guess everybody had the feeling "please don't let me die now, I still want to do this or that, or I really worked hard to do that, don't let fate take it away..."
I had that feeling in my last year of uni, when I was wrapping up the thesis and I knew I had a phd position in Amsterdam, I was so afaid that there would happen something that made it impossible to start my 'real' life. The most comforting thing I can tell you is that nothing happened and things went as planned (more or less).
Also a thing my mother always sais to cheer me up (but doesn't really work lately, but I'll give it a try anyhow) is that things are as they are ment to be. Even now she sticks to that thought be claiming that the fact that I did not get a summerstudent position in Hamburg made it such that I ended up doing a summerstudent job at NIKHEF which then lead to the phd here. "You see, it was all ment to be!"
So sit back, relax and let live take you where it's going.
Cheers!
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