Grease Monkey

Location: Queen Charlotte Sound

Distance Cycled: 56 km

Bugs Swallowed: 5

Roadkill Inadvertently Caused: 3 (Beetles)
Injuries Incurred: 1 (wrist)

Tiredness Level: 9

Happiness Level: 10

It's been a long time since I've been this proud of myself. Even passing the PhD fades by comparison. Seriously. I'm a geek. Everyone expected me to get the PhD. But no one expects me to succeed at any of the "cool" stuff. So for me, this is by far the more satisfying experience.

The whole journey started off on a much less confident note however. When I arrived at the bikeshop to pick up my stallion, the owner handed me all sorts of stuff I had no clue what to do with. A bikepump with three holes?!? Some type of wrench "to tighten the wheelbar with"?!? I simply took everything off the guy while thinking: I haven't a clue what to do with all this gear! When he handed me a repair kit, I decided it was time to speak up and said: "So erm... how exactly does one repair a punctured tyre?". The guy looked horrified at my asking, so I quickly added: "Just kidding!". I left the shop blushing and feeling rather more worried than I had been upon entering it.

It went rapidly downhill after that. When asking for an OS-map of the track, I got this. And when I asked if they had ANYTHING that showed the elevation of the track, they gave me this. So it's safe to say that from that point onward, I was close to panicking.

As soon as I got on the boat, I was informed that the Queen Charlotte Track is the least populated one in New Zealand. Going by the fact that there was only 1 other passenger on the boat besides myself, I'd say that's probably the understatement of the century. When I got dropped off, I decided there was no point in panicking. I would simply give it my best shot. Comforted by the fact that my mobile phone had reception on the track, I started peddling.

The track really was as deserted as they'd said. I crossed paths with all but 11 people, most of them on foot and I now understand why. Assigning the Queen Charlotte Track a mountainbike status is like saying every route in the Lake District is a mountainbike track. Well, yes, if you find enough fools willing to cycle them, technically they are all mountainbike tracks. But when one has to walk their bike uphill as much as they cycle it downhill, I'd be hestitant to call it a cycle track. One guy I passed was a fit and regular mountainbiker and even he proclaimed he'd been walking next to his bike for over an hour. Nough said.

-Sunset over Portage Bay-

I made it though. And what's more exciting is that I managed to do so in just an acceptable fraction more than the suggested time. It's amazing what you can push yourself to when you've no one to talk to but yourself for 8 hours.

I would also like to state that it is probably not a good idea to do any downhilling if you have an overactive imagination. The wrist-injury incurred is due to the fact that my overactive mind, for reasons beyond my grasp, mistook a tree covered in black lichen for some evil moster lurking on the roadside, making me jump off my bike in sheer panick. NOT a good idea when you're on a 26% downhill slope. To anyone else, I would highly recommend a go at downhilling, the adrenaline rush is almost better than going down a skislope in a straight line. And it's a very legit way for a 26-year old to relive their BMX days ;)

- Hot 'n Sweaty -

- Boat Pick Up Point, Anakiwa -