What's Your Story, Morning Glory?
It is one of those defining moments. The ones where you realise that life is somehow structured to cushion each blow it deals you. Subtly, but convincingly. Things fall into place and everything... both the good and the bad... finally makes sense. If only temporarily, appear part of a bigger picture. One you often fail to see because you're simply too close up to notice.
When you find yourself walking home at the crack of dawn, birds singing a continuation of the night's orchestral arrangements, fog in the fields gradually lifting, T-shirt strung up so the fresh summer-breeze can cool you down and return your heartrate to an almost zen-like state... there's no denying that sometimes, life can be just perfect.
Yet you set off that evening, in a near state of panic. Because life sometimes just blindsides you. Grabs you by the throat and makes you face up to things you're just not ready to face yet. You've arranged a night out in the hope of reaching a state of oblivion, where things will no longer matter. Or perhaps to find one word in a conversation with intimate strangers, which makes the panic subside.
But then you're greeted by the warm hug of a close friend, who's simply happy with the fact that you're there. Nothing more required but your presence. That in itself suffices to keep the panic at bay. It's the familiar chat. The subtle winks of comprehension. The realisation that regardless of your state of mind, you have a place where you belong.
The panic subsides, yet the pent-up energy and frustration remain. The urge to grab for a bottle, a miracle pill, a random fling. Searching for the quick, temporary release which rarely manages to solve. And then your friend brings you back to basics. Reminds you that there's little more required than your own body and some soul-entrancing tunes. A DJ succeeds in mixing his way to your innermost thoughts... and annihilates them. Stops the whirlwind in your head and commands you to surrender to sheer movement by a mere blend of beats. You close your eyes, and let your body take over.
It's almost primal. The scents of a club full of endorfines. The touch of a stranger's body moving in time with yours, on instinct. Every muscle in your body finding its own unique way to express each bassline-chord struck. And suddenly there you are, a soul that's finally connected with every part of you, and is just happy to be, right there, in that very movement.
As you walk home at the crack of dawn, birds singing a continuation of the night's orchestral arrangements, fog in the fields gradually lifting, T-shirt strung up so the fresh summer-breeze can cool you down and return your heartrate to an almost zen-like state... there's no denying that sometimes, life can be just perfect.
Just. Perfect. For one single moment in time.
You unlock the door, make your way to the shower and let the luke-warm beam wash the last remnants of the panic sweat away. You wrap up warm and watch the last of the morning's fog drift away as the sun gradually continues to rise. Right now... is perfect.
You'll fall asleep soon knowing that somehow, your life will cushion each blow it deals you. Subtly, but convincingly. And things WILL continue to fall into place.
Labels: Lesbian
7 Comments:
Pure poetry.
Overwhelming.
Aww.. dad ;-) I think people know where I get my DNA for sentimentality & prose from now, don't they... hehe. *hug*
Off topic, but… You know when you see something frequently, but don’t really see it? With that premise I *think* you’ve just recently somewhat face-lifted your blog? Coincidentally, I’ve been pondering the very question your (if not knew, just noticed) quotation poses more often than usual just recently and Oscar captures one side of my internal dialogue perfectly, although I had kind of reconciled myself to the whole “when you meet strangers, you get to meet a stranger within yourself that would never have bloomed into existence” thing. Tail spun again. I should go watch some more football. Or maybe less :-)
Really like your take on that. The whole reason I put the quote up there in the first place is because it's one of three major threads of "internal dialogue" (as you put it) I've been getting stuck in of late.
And yes, the blog's had a little botox ;-) Or rather, its author's had a little too much time on her hands.
As for the footie, I managed to catch the 2nd half of Holland-Portugal and my god was it good entertainment. Don't you just love it when they go at each other's throats?!? And WEHEY!!! Portugal won!! (A belge simply cant cheer on a dutchie...)
Should have known – the appeal of chaos :-) It was pretty fun, if not exactly in The Spirit! For me one of yesterday’s highlights was Becks vomiting all over the grass earlier in the day. There seems to be a general diminishing of bodily function taboos in sports - first Paula Radcliffe gets caught short, now Becks. I have high hopes for Wimbledon ;-)
It was just really entertaining seeing the whole lot of them jump on top of each other, several times over. FOUR RED CARDS, wehey!! And Figo's head-butt... raaaaah. Finally footie's starting to look a bit like rugby ;-)
Unbiased resporting of the WWE clash between Portugal and a Holland Divers XI
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