Saturday, January 05, 2008

Navigation

I woke up of my own accord this morning. No cathedral-bells, no construction-work drilling, no alarm-clock. Sheer bliss. This weekend is my time-out from the world. I've got nothing planned and nothing urgent on the agenda (apart from maybe ordering my prescription glasses, so I can drive my car more safely in 2008).

It's a grey and wet day, perfect for lying back and taking stock.

We all bitch about how stereotypical it is to reminisce about the previous year and to make resolutions for the New Year around this time. But I'm starting to accept that it's innately human to need a few re-set points from time to time. Those moments where you can indulge in nostalgia, close a few boxes and grab hold of a "fresh" start.

I kept diaries as a child, which I religiously burned the minute they were full. Like a cleansing ritual. And then I have shoe-boxes under my bed, full of memories relating to specific moments in time, neatly closed-off and stored away for when the Alzheimer days kick in. A library of re-set points. And today, I feel like I've come to another yet another. One that just so happens to coincide with the Hogmanay season.

I'm closing off a period in which I transitioned from persistent dreamer to appropriate realist, from incessant planner to increasingly frequent do-er, from hesitant loner to confident-enough-to-backpack-the-world-alone-without-feeling-lonely, from academic intelligentsia to private-sector consultant, from smugly homeless to slightly-nervous homeowner, from happily single to ecstatically coupled, from curiosity-driven expat to coincidental local, from TV-addict to not-even-owning-one, from illegal downloader to reluctant purchaser, from squandersome spender to conscientious saver, from laid-back gradstudent to ambitious employee, from economics-unsavvy to ecomically-interested, from salmonella-avoider to sushi-enthusiast, from walk-to-jobber to extreme commuter, from mononucleotically challenged to relatively-stable-if-not-very-healthy-yet, ...

It's been two and a half long, intense years of searching. Most of the ride exciting me as much as it terrified me.

I've found lots of answers. Added quite a few more questions to the list. And while the puzzle is continuously growing, I feel I have found enough fitting pieces to make out a vague image of what the puzzle will end up looking like once it is complete. If ever it will be.

So today, and tomorrow, I am taking stock. Selecting the right boxes to store the memories in and defining the key messages to take-away. Clearing space in my head for the next approaching batch of life-experiences.

Hunched over my own internal map, I won't resist an attempt to set out my next course, and will mentally prepare for that fact the error-margin on the destination is less than scientifically acceptable.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home