Shite...

.... or the profanities of wireless convo.


J: "I can't hear you properly babe, you're breaking up."

P: "I know, the connection is shite, it's frustrating."

J: "No wait, that sentence came through fine."

P: "I'm starting to suspect this thing needs profanities to enable a clear connection"

J: "You're breaking up again."

P: "Argh, this thing is SHITE, it's really doing my head in."

J: "OK, I can hear you again."

P: "Right, well that's it. I'm gonna just say SHITE at the end of every sentence. Shite"

J: *giggles*

P: "Anywhooo... what I was saying, shite, is that you need to think about, shite, where you want to go for your birthday weekend, shite. You can pick anywhere, shite. Berlin, Paris, Barcelona, Rome, Prague, shite, Venice, anywhere."

J: "Aye, I was thinking Barcelona"

P: "Ok, shite. Why?"

J: "Cuz it's warm there."

P: "Erm. Shite. It'll be mid-december then babe, it's hardly gonna be warm, shite."

J: "It will."

P: "Well, shite, last time I was there, shite, we had to walk around with sweaters, shite."

J: "Well it'll be warmer than York."

P: "OK. So Barcelona it is then, shite. You sure you wouldn't rather, shite, go to a wintery, christmassy city, shite?"

J: "Nope. I wanna see the Gaudi stuff."

P: "OK, shite"

J: "My word, it's like listening to Tourettes."

P: "I know, shite, but the connection seems to work now, doesn't it, shite ?"

J: "Aye, but you can stop the swearing."

P: "OK. Oooh... we can make out in park Guell!"

J: "I like the sound of that!"

P: "And I can take you to the Mies Vanderohe pavillion and the Sagrada Familia"

J: "OK, start swearing again, cuz I didn't catch that last sentence."

P: "Shite"

J: "Isn't it just."